This blog has been discontinued for the simple reason that there is no way for me to transfer it currently. Blogging will continue at : http://abracasandwich.tumblr.com/

Until then, or at least until I figure out how to move these, enjoy old posts here.

Thanks for reading,

K

Hola,

Well, this is day four of another block of illness for me, and I thought I’d use some of my extra time (it’s all extra; I’m out of work) this morning to write about a subject that isn’t near and dear to my heart (yet) but may be very soon.

As some of you know, I’ve recently been struggling with TMJ (or Temporomandibular Joint disorder) due to my severe under/crossbite that has somehow gotten worse with age. In other words, my jaw and my teeth are misaligned, causing me a lot of pain and difficulty in eating when I’m not using a mouth guard at night (yummy) or on a lot of anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxant. The solution is looking to be surgery which will cause me to need 6 months of braces, and then 5 weeks of my jaw wired shut…possibly followed by more braces.

This girl obviously dyed her hair, but seriously guys, I'm going to look entirely different. Scary.

As you can see this will make eating an even bigger challenge. If you know me, you know I love food. Id you don’t know me…I love food. This is a nightmare already.

And it gets better:

I’ve also had digestive problems for most of my life, and am currently being tested for intestinal diseases/allergies to wheat and milk. (FML, no pasta or cheese; my main staples. The two chief ingredients of my favorite food, macaroni & cheese.)

(OH MY GOD. BEER.)

What’s a girl to do when she’s facing a facial transformation that might not even SOLVE the issue involved and not being able to eat her favorite things…or almost anything at all?

I decided to begin thinking about my favorite jaw-friendly allergy-friendly foods so that I may still find ways to enjoy my meals without compromising my health.

Of course, I’m hoping it’s not an allergy. I’m merely preparing for the worst as a sort of shock-absorber.

My Top 10 Best Foods to Eat That Do Not Involved Much Chewing, Wheat, or Dairy. (in no particular order)

1. Soy- Soy Milk, Edamame, Soy Crisps, Tofu. You really can’t go wrong. Vanilla Soy Milk I prefer to actual milk anyway, and can be used in a lot of recipes. Edamame is salty and healthy at the same time. Soy Crisps are like rice cakes, but better. Tofu, when cooked right, is the best thing ever. I actually prefer it to meat in Thai and Japanese dishes.

1. 

   New Yorkers, Fried Tofu at Tai Thai. Bostoners, Fried Tofu at Wagamama. Seriously good, and I used to hate the stuff.

2. Rice- Jasmine and Basmati are my favorites and the most flavorful. Basmati is the standard in Indian Food, and Jasmine is surprisingly good in a Burrito (The Purple Cactus in Jamaica Plain, go there. I miss working there and getting to eat it all the time.) There’s also rice milk, which is a little more watery than soy, but still good; and rice pasta and noodles. It’s filling and a good substitute for the starch in pasta.
3. Potatoes- Everyone loves ‘em. I’m not so big on mashed, but I looooooove French Fries for my junk food (I forgot about chips!) and a baked potato every once in a while, especially baked Sweet Potatos! NOM NOM NOM
4. Veggies: Spinach, Tomato, Squash, Peppers, etc.- I’m not always in the mood, but nothing beats a good salad. Tomato soup, sauce, ketchup, etc. Butternut Squash soup! Hot Jalapeño, Serrano, Chili, and Habaneros. Hot Sauce! Veggies deserve more credit…
5. Seafood: Fish, Crab, Clams, Shrimp,etc.- Regular meat like beef and chicken can be tough to digest if not cooked to a pulp, and we all love bacon, but you just can’t eat it all the time. I like myself a good fried of baked fish with a little lemon. Sushi! I’m from New England, don’t judge me. I won’t eat lobster based on a bad experience (not science,) so I have to make up for it somehow.
   

   Sushi! Dynamite Sushi in Hudson,NH beats the tar out of anywhere in Boston or New York. Sorry, city mice.

6. Soup- Broth of all kinds with all kinds of veggies and meats and and and and…yum. Comforting and warm, and pretty much endlessly variable. Spicy or mild. Gazpacho. Mmm…
7. Fruit: Strawberries, Peaches, Mangoes, Plums, Bananas, etc.- Fruit is easy. Nature’s delicious ovaries can be eaten with little to no effort. Avocados are a fruit, and my favorite one! Technically, so is a tomato. You don’t even need to wash a banana. Smoothies. Juice. Summer!
8. Hummus- Chick pea paste. So good on a sandwich or with chips and hot sauce. Red Pepper is my favorite flavor. Damn good for you, too. You’ll never feel that good about eating ranch dip. Well…you will, because it’s yummy, but it has no health benefits that I know of. Except being delicious. I’m a masochist.
9. Dairy-Free Ice Cream- Surprisingly good. ESPECIALLY at JP Licks. They make it so you don’t miss regular ice cream. Unfortunate as other lac-tard foods are (fake cheese, shudder. Dry veggie burgers, double-shudder) this is actually pretty good. Not to mention Italian Ice and fruit bars. Gotsta stay cool when it’s hot, yo.
   
10. Wine- This is the alcoholic beverage issue. When wheat is an issue, that eliminates a lot of things. But wine, oh wine, you’re pure fermented fruit. And you’re delicious. Red Wine is said to be good for you. Looks a lot classier than a cocktail in your hand..or a bottle of Jack.
    

    It's even the best looking beverage. Image via Flickr/Mr. T in DC.

That felt oddly good. I can talk about food more than I can eat it right now, but I made myself feel a little better. I was going to put fake sausage on there, but I just found out it’s made of soy AND wheat. Hmph.

I hope I’ve inspired those who are converting from iron stomach to health food nut as I am; or even inspired you Mountain-Dew guzzling, Cheeto-devouring masses to wrap your mouth around something that wasn’t made in a factory.

Side note on that: I think it was too much of that shit when I was young that’s killing me now. Be careful with your kids’ tummies!

Have a good day, everyone,

xo K

PS: This entry has been made possible by my veggie and lac-tarded friends who have taught me that life is not so distasteful without dairy products and sweet, sweet, bacon. I love you. I’m still gonna eat bacon though.

That is all.

xo K

Up- It was both really sad and really funny. I can’t get over how much I love the talking dogs. It’s how I truly picture dogs talking, and yes I picture that regularly. My dream is to teach a dog to talk (don’tjudgeme.) It melted my little heart and made me laugh.
Julie & Julia- I love Julia Child. I love Meryl Streep. Perfect! It was a lot of fun to watch, and Meryl nails the part of Julia. I didn’t like the ending, though. It’s a little unsatisfying. Nevertheless, I recommend it to food junkies and anyone who loved watching Julia on TV.
Coraline- It was beautifully animated, and I loved the concept. Neil Gaiman is a great author, but I think the movie falls a little bit short on dialogue, even as an animated feature. It was definitely entertaining, but it felt a lot like a Tim Burton rip-off. Also, the 3D glasses that come with it suck. Headache town. Aesthetically, it wins.
The Fantastic Mr. Fox- Wes Anderson is another favorite of mine. This movie I think would be great for someone of any age. Killer original score, characters, dialogue, and animation. I stayed glued to it the whole time I was in the theater, which is rare for me. George Clooney is a perfect Mr. Fox. Another thing I like about Wes is that he sticks to a color palette in all of his movies, and it really creates a mood. Mr. Fox is no exception. Adored it.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- What can I say? It was entertaining as always (QUIDDICH!) but, I always feel a little bit tool-ish for watching them. Also, in the theater, it was 3D for about 10 minutes in the beginning (QUIDDICH?) BIG let-down there. However, as always, it is aesthetically appealing and gets the idea across.
Bright Star- Holy fucking depressing. The characters are very sweet, and the costumes were fantastic, but the story is heart-breaking and unsatisfying. Now, I don’t no very much about the real-life story, but I’m having trouble understanding why this was made into a movie. I felt like curling up in a ball and dying. It didn’t make me feel as horrible as Requiem for a Dream, which is good, but not saying much.
Movies I wish I saw:
The Hurt Locker- I was told good things, but I guess it’s sort of developing into a contversy : http://perezhilton.com/2010-03-03-hurt-locker-sued-over-stolen-identity
Ouch. I hope they don’t halt distribution before I can rent it.
Precious- I still have no idea what this is about, but it’s one of those movies you keep hearing about until you start the really get curious.
A Serious Man- The best way to explain this, is by watching the incredibly well-made trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FYtprwg1As
Up in The Air- This looks like it’s going to be what Lost in Translation would have been if it wasn’t boring and awful.
Invictus- What could football (Soccer, if your American) possibly have to do with politics in South Africa? I guess this movie explains it. Intressante.
Nine- Admittedly on the fence, but, Daniel Day Lewis. I have to.
The Princess and the Frog- New Disney Princess movie! Now with black people! I have to see how this one pans out…
The Secret of Kells: Just go to the website: http://www.thesecretofkells.com/
It’s beautiful!
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus- Again, on the fence. Looks pretty, but seems like it’s going to be a little contrived. A lot. Shamefully, this movie has at least 3 of my male celebrity crushes. Maybe I won’t care about the story.
Oh, and Tom Waits is the Devil. I guess that settles it.
Sherlock Holmes- Another fencey one. I just hate Robert Downey Junior. Maybe I’ll be cured if I see him in a GOOD movie for once.
Coco Before Chanel- Audrey Tatou and the birth of one of the houses of modern fashion design. Drool. Please don’t turn into a love story.
Food,Inc- I will, 100% see this. Every time I see one of these films, I start eating a little bit better. My goal is to stay that way forever. “All Food is Poison” is a great way to enjoy in moderation.
Star Trek: I really don’t know how I haven’t seen this. I’m a Trekkie. Ok, so I really just wanted to see Simon Pegg play Scotty.

Movies That Didn’t Get Anything WTF:
Where The Wild Things Are- If you went into the theater expecting a kids movie, then you were probably a little depressed afterward. BUT, if went in expecting something different, then you were impressed by the depth added to the classic Maurice Sendak story. Attention Children’s Book Snobs (includes me): Sendak himself approved the novel and screenplay written by David Eggers/ Spike Jonze.  I’ve read the novel as well, and the movie pretty well sticks to it. Even on an aesthetic level, it should have at least earned some recognition for the cinematography and the animation of the monsters.
The Brothers Bloom- The movie was pretty stupid (except for the beginning starring my new favorite kid actor, who was also in WTWTA, Max Records http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2504006/) but the cinematography was beautiful, and the costumes were great. And Rachel Weisz!

Next Year?:
Since we all have our opinions of the nominees this year (I mean, the oscars are on in like, a couple of hours,) let’s talk about next year.
I think that Alice in Wonderland will probably be up for a lot of things; it was a lot of fun to watch, the costumes were good, and the twist on the story was kind of cool.
I think the Wolfman will not be.  Contrived, been-done-before story with a ton of holes, overweight Benicio Del Toro, nothing new done with makeup. Emily Blunt disappointed me. It was a bad time.
New Moon had some great cinematography, but the makeup sucked, as usual. You can always see the makeup. I know their budget it huge enough to do it, just do good makeup or good touch-up. Figure it out. Maybe it was just my least favorite book in the whole saga. Eclipse will make me feel better. I hope. Why am I telling anybody about this? Guilty pleasure!
Anyway, enjoy the show, folks. It’s Sunday night, but don’t forget to fix yourself a drink and gather up a gossip buddy. This is quality entertainment…and these people actually deserve awards for their craft. Movies enrich our loves almost as much as music does.
xo K